Love Me "Tender"

Right now we’re anchored in the bay near the port of Balboa, Panama. Apparently we can’t get a berth in Balboa, so we’re stuck here at anchor and will have to take the tender boats into port.

The tenders are the lifeboats for the ship. They seat about 60-80 people and the way it works is that there is a platform that comes out from the gangway and hovers over the water. You then climb into the tenders and they ferry you to shore. The thing is that we’re in these super rough swells due to the rather nasty weather we’re experiencing right now. So what happened this morning was that he platform was rising and falling with the swells and crashed into the top of the tender. Somehow this bent something on the platform. So we’ve been stranded on the ship all morning.

The tendering has resumed now, but it’s really dangerous and there’s some concern that if we get into shore, perhaps we won’t get back out to the ship. The platform is very slippery and it’s rocking all over. So this should be quite the adventure today.

We have a trip headed to the Gamboa Rainforest this afternoon. We have to get onto a tender by about 12:45 in order to make it on time to the trip. It’s 11:30 right now and they’re trying to get a normal schedule established for us.

As an extra fun bonus, the area where the tenders take us is really unsafe. So we have to stay in the port building (which is safe) and wait for the shuttles to take us into town.

We got a hotel room for tomorrow night and wonder if we oughtn’t do it for tonight as well, but we’re going to play it by ear for now and see how we do.

Back on board

Back on board

The night before last we had dinner with the captain of the ship. This would have been a more pleasant experience had Ricardo and I not been suffering from day 3 of Montezuma’s Revenge.

Dinner with the captain was really bizarre. Picture all of the captain’s dinners on the Love Boat: the busy dining room, the affable although overweight captain, extravagant centerpieces. This was not that. But it was really fun and the food was fabulous.

The captain is Croatian with a Hunt for Red October look about him. He’s very nice, but you can’t help feeling like you can take the guy out of the Eastern Block, but you can’t take the Eastern Block out of the guy.

We ate with the staff captain who is second in command. He’s from Sweden but he lives in Thailand with his Thai wife, in Chiang Mai, actually, Beth. Captain Nelson was very charming and funny. Lots of jokes about his years on the sea. Including this one: Apparently, while he was staff captain on a cruise ship there was a woman who called the purser’s desk in an utter panic. When the purser tried to calm her and ask her to come out of her room so he could help her she screamed that that was the problem. It seems ther were only to doors in her room, one was the toilet and the other said “Do Not Disturb.”

He told us about Neptune Day (which is coming up soon). This is something one celebrates at sea. Apparently you’re supposed to shave your head and kiss a fish when you cross the equator at sea. It’s fairly tame on this ship, but he told us about when we was in the merchant marine that the sailors got extremely drunk and it was all done with more force than it is here. Apparently on one of his ships, the chief engineer who was universally hated locked himself in his room to avoid it and the crew told the captain they’d pay for the door out of their wages and they went to knock it down to drag him out and shave his head. It seems that in their fervor they scared the guy so badly (he was older) he had a heart attack and died. I guess it’s not just fraternities who haze.

The kids got a tour of the bridge yesterday. The MV Explorer is the fastest cruise ship every built. It’s only 6 years old, so everything is very modern. They showed us the GPS system, the radar (nothing on it but wave) and all the digital maps. What they do is they program the course into the computers and the ship sails on autopilot until they have to adjust course. Yesterday, we were off the coast of Costa Rica, but today we’re almost in Panama already. We’re operating on only one engine and still traveling at 17 knots. The ship has stabilizers to make us roll less, but I can’t imagine what it would be like if it didn’t work.

We also got a chance to go to the ship’s hospital yesterday. After reaching Day 4 of Turista stomach, Ricardo and I decided to go to the ship’s doctor (he’s hilarious! From Kentucky and a total smart ass in a really good way). We’ve been put on Cipro and we’re finally better. Not to be left out, The Kid sliced his toe, very dramatically in the pool yesterday. The thing bled like nobody’s business and we had to call the nurse up to escort us down to the hospital. The Kid became quite the celebrity. The toe was photographed by the safety officer. Statements were taken, reports filed. Steri-strips and glue were applied. Limping ensued. He’s doing pretty well today, walking around with very little discomfort. We’re hoping everything will be fine for our canopy tour tomorrow.

We arrive in Panama tomorrow morning. Unlike the other ports, we can’t dock so we have to stay at anchor. This means we will have to use the tender boats to get into the port itself. This should be a very exciting thing, I think. We have a tour of the canopy of the rainforest tomorrow on aerial trams. It should be very cool, although if the heat in Acapulco did us in, I can’t imagine what the it will be like in Panama.

Acapulco

We’ve had no satellite for several days, so here goes the long update.

Day 1

The first day we got into town we were bowled over by the heat and humidity. It’s been cold on the ship (extra air conditioned and also the ocean is colder than the coast). When we left the ship the heat hit us like a Mack truck. We were drenched in sweat almost instantly. Which actually feels good because once you’re wet, the breeze feels nice and cool.

We’re docked directly across from the 17th century fort. So first stop was a tour of the fort and its museum. The fort wasn’t much in comparison to the forts in Puerto Rico, but the museum was really cool. They went into a lot of detail about the trade with Asia because Acapulco was the jumping off point for the Manila Galleons. So there were several rooms about the trade. Plenty of Chinese export porcelain for me! And silk, spices, armor, ivory. Something for everyone really.

After the fort we went to a restaurant called La Chilapeña. We ordered just about everything on the menu (largeish group) and it was all divine! The pozoles (which Guerero is famous for) were delicious, spicy and rich tasting. The enchiladas were phenomenal, and the chalupas had the perfect sweet salty spicy kick.

After our meal, we made our way to the ubiquitous Sanborns for some ice cream and a stop in the air conditioning.

Our next stop was a water park called CiCi. Tons of slides, a wave pool, a kiddy pool with little slides and mushrooms and things. The highlight of the rides was something called a tornado. So you know the things where you roll the coin along the edge and it goes in ever tightening circles until you hit the bottom, where it spins and drops straight down? OK, so imagine instead of a coin, it’s you. Needless to say I did not go on this, although Ricardo went twice.

Day 2

This morning we went on a tour called the Historical Route of the Nation. It was perhaps a complete misnomer. The historical part was fragmented and funky to say the least. But the drive was spectacular and the villages were lovely.

Acapulco is set into the cliffs around a harbor on the Pacific coast of Mexico. What this tour did was take us up into the hills above Acapulco to a series of small villages that were important to the history of Mexican Independence (mostly as birth places, hence the lack of detail etc in the historical part). We visited several small chapels which were stunning in their color and decoration. We also had beautiful vistas to appreciate along the way as well.

The trip ended with a visit to the bakery in a small town. This consisted of a clay oven and fresh baked bread for all of us. Literally, she had just taken it from the oven. It was the best bread I think I’ve ever had.


Later that night we went to see the cliff divers. You may remember this, as I do, from watching the Love Boat in the 1980s. It was absolutely breathtaking. We were there at sunset so the view of the sunset, the cliffs, the ocean was terrific. What the divers do is they climb down one side of the cliff, dive into the water and then scale the high cliffs in nothing but their bathing suits. Then they dive into 11 feet of water from a height of 30 meters (almost 100 feet). I totally had thought it would be cheesy as hell, but it was the coolest thing! Some of the divers were no older than 14 years old. The Kid announced rather vociferously that he did not think he’d be doing this in his future. No kidding!

Most of the pictures didn’t come out because of the darkness and the slow shutter. So these are someone else’s pictures.

Things you don't think about

We've been without satellite for a few days now. So I wrote this on Wednesday and had meant to post it then. But we only got back today. So will update more tomorrow hopefully.
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Yesterday I shaved my legs. Why am I telling you this, you wonder? TMI in the extreme, right? Well not exactly. See the thing is, that we’re still at sea on our way to Acapulco.

I guess I could have waited until Acapulco tomorrow, but the thing is that this ship is crawling with svelte, toned, undergrads in bikinis. So really I felt obliged to do the minimum, which is to shave my legs.

This boat moves. A lot. All the time. So imagine, if you will a bathroom. Lovely, well appointed, marble and chrome. But something is not quite right about it all. There is a bathtub, but it’s bizarrely narrow, so narrow that your feet can’t be hip distance apart so you feel (if you are of my girth) like you’re kind of squinched into it. Add to that feeling of close quarters, a hand held shower head, which is not quite high enough nor angled properly so it showers essentially straight down, rather than out and down.

And this, my friends, is the setting for the great maiden leg shave.

So picture in your minds legs covered in shaving cream, a fresh razor (danger Will Robinson!) and a moving target. And this is what we’re dealing with. I found the successful way to do this was to hold onto the towel bar with one hand and then sort of squat down and swipe at my leg. Then I waited for the opposite roll of the ship and did it again. Slowly but surely I finished my first leg. Then came the dilemma. To knee or not to knee, that was the question. If I shaved my knees, he chances of this becoming a blood bath were strong. If I didn’t, do my knees, I’d be copping out. I decided not to do the knees. Leg number two proceeded similarly, although somewhat faster than leg one. The thing is that not all the rolls are predictable, even though the sea is very, very calm right now. So as I was finishing my second leg, the ship rolled forward as well as to the side and I managed to drop the razor, lose the blade and also twist my ankle, thankfully not badly.

And thus ended my great leg shaving saga!

On a completely different note, I can’t wait to get into Acapulco tomorrow to get real water and real food. I am so tired of the food already, I want to skip every meal. Unfortunately, I am hungry all the time, because we’re constantly up and down the stairs, all over the ship, fore and aft, etc. Add to this that the ship produces all our water (it has a desalination plant onboard), and it tastes like ass. I am looking forward to the change tomorrow.

At Sea

We set sail from Ensenada yesterday afternoon. Having the students aboard is really a change. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have 700 on board. 300 is enough, IMHO. But they seem so excited it’s absolutely contagious!

We’re very lucky to have calm seas so far. And the expectation is that they will remain fairly calm for a while yet. It’s sot lulling that last night as I lay on the couch in our room, I fell sound asleep and was only awakened when they made an announcement that there was cake. Last night was one of the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had. I think I was up only once.

Working out is a challenge on this ship. Because it rolls, gently, but inconsistently in terms of direction, you constantly feel as if you were drunk. This means that on the elliptical where you actually need to balance well, you feel as if you’re going to fall off all the time. But it’s lovely to work out with a view of the ocean.

The water is the most stunning, cobalt blue. It’s almost as if it weren’t real. Last night at dinner there was a pod of dolphins spotted and also a whale. Sadly I missed it because I was (most pitifully) asleep.

The kids’ program starts today so The Kid is off playing right now. The students are in meetings and it’s as peaceful as it can be. I am loving this!

Ensenada, Mexico

We’ve now spent really almost two full days on the boat. Apparently the dock was not available to us on the second day in Ensenada so we had to go out to anchorage. This meant chugging out into the harbor for about 20 minutes and then dropping anchor.

This meant we had nearly two days on the boat, but rocking and rolling on the boat, and in sight of land. It was an extremely odd feeling to know that you were at sea and also not at sea.

The first of our anchorage days we spent hanging out and playing. We’ve now lost two soccer balls overboard so the playing is not what it once was. But the kids made do with card games, toys and other activities (including tearing around the halls which really needs to stop once the students come on today).

On the upshot, we weren’t supposed to dock until about 7:30 last night. The good news is we got in earlier, the bad news was that it was still Ensenada.

Ensenada is a very sketchy, touristy pit of a town. Tons of people selling tchochkes, lo tipico, and fish tacos. But we decided to go in last night anyway, just to get off the boat.

The first thing we noticed was how freaking much the ground was moving. I had not realized how much I’d gotten used to the rocking of the boat. Even today, I felt like the ground was rocking and I was weaving like a complete drunkard.

When we finally made it into the dive that is Ensenada, we found this really cool espresso bar that sold reproductions of paintings by an artist named Remedios Varo. The Kid fell head over heals in love with one of them and as his first purchase, he bought it. I’ve never known a kid to be into art like that, but he is. It was pretty cool. As soon as we got back to the boat he went ahead and put it up so he could see it from his bed.



This morning we trekked into the WalMart to pick up a few snack items and some soccer balls (we’ve lost two overboard already). The highlight of the trip was a decent cup of coffee at the espresso bar as you leave the WalMart. How freaking sad is that?

Welcome Aboard, It's Love!

Yesterday we finally embarked. It was actually kind of wild. We spent the morning with my friend Beth and so it was totally surreal to actually get on the ship and get this whole thing started.

We boarded at about 1:30, only to find that I was not on the approved list. WTF? So we waited and waited for security to come down an approve of my joining this expedition. I still don’t really get what that was about but, whatever.

Then we got our IDs (mine is truly ghastly!) which are also the keys to our room. We are in the Melissaki suite, which is lovely, even though most of the faculty have balconies and we do not. I do think our living area is slightly larger though. The room is very nice, with tons of shelving and closet space (although I completely understand why the suit case thing, because there really is nowhere to put them if you’d brought them. The only downer was that the outlet for Ricardo’s C-Pap was too far from the bed. So that necessitated a trip to find an extension cord. This was at like 2:00 or so. I thought I’d be a good doobie and go ahead and unpack us.

Talk about a monumental task! First we had to find our boxes and bring them to our rooms. This meant carrying most of them until Bruce found a hand cart and helped me bring down the last 4. Then we had to figure out what was in each box. Note to self, packing lists on top of box in the future.

By 3:30, Ricardo had still not come back. And now I was beginning to worry since the first meeting was at 4 and um, hello? He’d been gone an hour and a half already. Turns out he’d taken the wrong bus in the wrong direction. He made it but only barely.

Then we sat through a very long meeting in which people introduced themselves (darned if I remember anyone’s name) and we sat and froze to death in the student union. The room could not have been more than 60 degrees in there. Even I was cold and I am never really cold.

After the meeting they gave us alcohol (thankfully!) and that both warmed me up and calmed me down. Dinner was served shortly after the cocktail hour, and it was spectacular to sit out on the deck, eat your meal, and look at the harbor. I had to text Leslie and Abby to rub that one in.

The kids played soccer until very late and had a great time. There is another family with two boys, one just a little younger than The Kid and the other much younger. And there is a girl the same age as The Kid, and another girl who is 12 and they had a great soccer game. Lots of running and fun.

At 9pm they did a lifeboat drill. I would not have been overly concerned with this, but apparently a year or so ago, the ship was hit by a rogue wave, so it was something to pay attention to. All I can say is that better not happen to us.

We set sail at 11pm. By then I was asleep because I was way too tired to go to the launch or whatever they call it. I figure by the time we leave Ensenada, I’ll be used to the time change and able to stay awake. Until then, I need my beauty rest and any other kind of rest I can take.

They made a big fuss about the seasickness yesterday and I kind of blew it off. For one thing I have these patches, which work like a charm, and the boat seemed too big to really worry about it. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. At about midnight when we were actually in the Pacific, I woke up with the distinct knowledge that I was clearly going to be falling straight out of the bed. It was completely disconcerting. I got up to use the bathroom and felt like I was totally drunk and could not walk a straight line. I never felt sick, thankfully, but I certainly felt stupid, listing all over the freaking place.

This morning we were completely surrounded by marine layer and the sea. It was ghoulish. I felt like I totally understood why sailors killed the captain. It’s oddly claustrophobic feeling. But as we finished breakfast the coast of Ensenada pulled into view.

We played more soccer after breakfast and promptly lost a soccer ball to the sea. Note to self, tie nets tightly before playing. So we decided to go on a quest for a new ball. We packed the kids up and went into Ensenada. It’s nothing great, tons of serapes, silver, people braiding hair, and the like. But there was one odd thing that stood out. The other family and the 12 year old came with me and The Kid. Well, the little one in the family, (he’s like 4), was fascinated by this advertising trolley for Papas & Beer. They kept driving back and forth blaring their crappy music and shimmying their tube topped trollops. The little one looked at them and his response was “Hootchie Mamas!” Out of the mouths of precocious babes, I guess.

We never did get the ball, sadly.

OMG! This is our boat!

So this is the site that greeted us last night as we pulled into the divey Holiday Inn. Ricardo was certain that he'd seen it from the air as we were landing last night. My response was, "Nice wishful thinking, boy-o." But, he was right! And not only had he seen it from the air, but it is literally across the street from our hotel (saves on taxi charges!). OMG!

Yesterday was a day of extremes. To start with, we left really really early from MIL's house to get to the Baltimore airport. And since I was driving MIL's car that left me a little tense. Because, let's face it, who wants to wreck MIL's car?

As we're headed through security, The Kid starts getting all teary suddenly. So I ask what's the matter and it turns out that despite having loved watching the X-Men all the way from Vienna to Baltimore, there is some serious consternation over the fact that DVDs have been seen potentially out of order! Now, to me this is not a crisis. This is not something to cry over. This, it would seem, is a big deal over nothing at all. Until Ricardo pointed out that The Kid was "cleaning box fans." (See Ricardo's blog for the full description of the box fans).

Now when there is a comic super hero crisis, who you gonna call?

Uncle Freddy, we are so grateful!

Crisis resolved, we had a hefty wait which allowed us to wander around and eat at the two hideous options available in our terminal. I think this is the first time in 7 years that The Kid has eaten McDonalds.

Arrive in Houston, wander around (manage to miss the fact that smart carts are easily available and would have eliminated the crushing pain of walking with backpacks all afternoon), and eat at an actual restaurant (yeah for margaritas!). Board plane and arrive in San Diego which is probably the most perfect climate ever. It's the temperature of air conditioning. It's unbelievable!

So throughout the day both Ricardo and I were seized with these panics (think X-Men crisis) about what we'd gotten ourselves in to. And all that disappeared once we saw the boat. It's freaking amazing!

Semester at Sea: MV Explorer Ship Tour

So here is a tour of the ship for those wondering what it's like. Bear in mind this is a kid touring the boat for his parents this last December. It's not like professional or anything. (far from it!)

We're off!

It's finally here! We're leaving today. We get as far as DC and then stop. The whole thing seems to be happening in fits and starts, but at least there is an official departure.

Here's my to-do list though for before we leave:

• Get the car inspected (expired in May)
• Get Ricardo's recalled c-pap exchanged for a safe model
• New! Take The Kid to the doctor because he has a rash all over his legs. WTF?
  
• drop the rats off
• drop one of the cars off
• wait for Ricardo to meet with his dept. chair
• get laundry bags
• deal with the freaking Malarone

And all this needs to be completed by about 12 today so we can have lunch and leave.

Tomorrow we drive to Baltimore and fly out of there to San Diego. We spend the night in San Diego and then pick up the boat at 1:00. We sail for a few days without the kids and then get them in Ensenada, Mexico.

Basically I am alternating between being really excited about going and having panic attacks about what we've gotten ourselves into.

And the verdict is....

Denied.

Again.

Schmucks.

Apparently they should never have approved the prescription for The Kid in the first place. That was a mistake on their part. Oh and I was wrong about the cost. It's $535/person. The deal is that UVA doesn't cover it preventatively. Now if we actually had Malaria, then it would only be a 30 day approval process from the time the first two claims were denied. Nice.

Ricardo was so pissed, he emailed John Casteen (president of UVA for those not in the know). As luck would have it, Casteen has an addiction to his Blackberry and is looking into it (in other words, issuing commands) with benefits. The thing is that the cost of this stuff is so high that it is literally almost 10% of Ricardo's summer pay and that's before taxes. So imagine what goes on with the poor grad students!!

What we figured out though is that we don't need it the whole time. And that The Kid gets the same dosage we do. So since his was covered, and he got 90 pills, and ours is not covered but total all we need is 111 pills, we only actually have to pay for 21 pills. This should be within our budget.

But it really begs the question about health plans and insurance. Isn't the freaking point to avoid illness for pete's sake?! So with something like Malaria, wouldn't it be better for them to allow the meds so that we don't actually get the disease? Because it seems to me that treating it will be a whole lot more expensive than preventing it.

And who is the sick schmuck who sits around and devises these freaking rules anyway? What must that be like. I don't think I could live with myself. But then I also couldn't be someone who designs strip malls, so maybe that says a lot more about me than it does about them.

Oh and in the meantime, I'm freaking out over trying to get my head around what needs to be done. And I am completely convinced that I keep forgetting something huge, like a power of attorney (got it, btw). It's gotten so bad that really all of us are freaking out. The Kid is watching some movie to prevent him from having a grand mall melt down about how many stuffed animals he can take.

And Julia came so we could go over everything for the summer. So in some ways she's "going away" for 11 weeks too. And she's not stressed at all. Except by the remote control that no one can work anyway.

So it's really fun in our house!

The Saga Continues

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a name. A first and last name. And a fax number. I believe this is progress. But there is no happy ending yet.

Yesterday I called every hour and they kept claiming they didn't have the fax from Esther, our doctor's nurse. So poor Esther, who sent this fax no less than 4 times yesterday, finally called and got someone and faxed it to her personally. When we called this morning? I'm sorry, we never got a fax from your doctor's office. Grrrrrrr!!!!!

So Ricardo called this morning and got a human. First he was treated badly, as I was yesterday about how he was calling about the medication. And he, O Airline Master that he is, said no, he was calling about their bureaucratic incompetence. Touché! So that's how he got the name. First and last. It bodes well. She is supposed to be calling as soon as the fax comes in and she is personally walking it up to the next step. We'll see how that goes.

In the meantime, I had another dream last night. In this dream, I got an email from Pharmacare in which they said that they were denying the medication because they'd rather we get Malaria. And on top of it, they gave us the name of the only antibiotic they would authorize for the treatment of Malaria and it was sufa based which meant I couldn't take it (I'm allergic) and so I was going to be doomed to getting Malaria like some 19th century British explorer of remote corners of the world. Needless to say it woke me up at 5:12 this morning and I did not get back to sleep.

The saga continues

OMFG OMFG OMFG!

So first I get the big denied. Then I get a call from pharmacare saying that my health insurance does not cover this drug. And who, you might ask is my pharmacy benefit health insurance? You guessed it! Pharmacare! I asked to speak with someone there about why the medication has been denied and she tells me she can't explain that because I need to speak to my health insurance. And I wanted to scream at her : You are my mf health insurance!!!!!!!!!

But perhaps it's that I am ignorant. Maybe this is all my mistake. Maybe they are not my health insurance (are too, are too!). So I settle in to call Southern Health (the doctor end of the insurance a-go-go). But first, having learned from my mistakes, I poured myself a nice glass of cointreau. Because I am this close to reaching through the g/d phone lines and "touching someone" as it were.

And lo! What happens when one presses 1 for pharmacy benefits?

You get connected to PHARMACARE.

I finished my drink and decided if ever there was a hell, all insurance companies belong in it. God knows they bring it to earth for the rest of us.

Thankfully, I was calm this time and was able to charm my person into looking into it. And what did I learn? What I already knew, but since I had my wits about me for once, I was able to actually do some research and scheme while on hold (for 40 minutes, mind you!).

What I need is a letter from my doctor explaining why Malarone is medically necessary. And what I cam up with is that it is a job related expense made necessary by the particular strains of Malaria extant in the regions we're going to.

I called my doctor's nurse. She and I souped it up a bit more and made it even more dire sounding and she's getting the doctor to fax it.

Will we get the medications? Will we get Malaria? Will we get arrested for verbally abusing people at Pharmacare? Stay tuned!

One only need be concerned about the 72 hours

if there is a chance that they will approve the medication. But they were so much speedier than we thought they'd be!

The verdict: denied

Welcome to the Malarone Zone

One of the medications we need to have on this trip is called Malarone. It is a Malaria preventative and you take it once a day for the whole trip. Our doctor prescribed it for us in May and we sent it off the the mail order pharmacy like the good little health plan members that we are.

And that's where the fun began!

So the first thing that happened was that they did nothing for 9 days. Then they decided they needed authorization from our doctor. Um, hello?! He wrote the prescription. He authorizes the medication. No instead there's a form he has to fill out and then they take 72 hours to approve it.

Let's do some math. Today is 6/5/07. We leave for DC on 6/11/07. 72 hours from now is Friday 6/8. Saturday is 6/9 and Sunday is 6/10. So the likelihood of getting this medication is.... very very small indeed.

I spent no less than 2 hours on the phone yesterday on this particular debacle. Here were my points:

• the doctor prescribed it, i.e. he approves, i.e. give me the medication
• my son is going on the same trip, his has been approved already, why not simply do ours too, you know it's ok.
• Malaria is a deadly disease, the cost of curing it is extraordinary, the medication prevents it, i.e., you should give us the medication

Finally it became clear that there was nothing they were going to do for us. The hoop must be jumped through, not over, around, next to, or under. So the woman whom I was speaking to (or holding for which is more accurate) asked me what else she could do for me.

And now came my revenge.

I asked her to explain the logic behind this policy. I swear to God I could hear her sitting there blinking. Well, she replied, it's part of the plan you chose (now this is laughable in itself as it is not the plan I chose so much as the plan I was given or even the plan I received, but certainly not chose). I told her that I understood it was part of the plan but I wanted to know how this part of the plan was logical. She said that some medications can be used for multiple things. I said I knew that, and that this medication was for preventing Malaria. And that my plan was to prevent Malaria! Truly diabolical I know. Eventually I let her off the hook, by saying, "There really isn't any logic here, is there?" I'm pretty sure I felt her breath of relief through my cell phone.

So the status? No Malarone yet. Malarone, maybe? We'll see.

So I just had a nearly full scale freak out

And over absolutely nothing. I became inexplicably convinced that the prescription for malaria medications hadn't been filled and that we'd never get it in time. As it turns out this is in fact partially true. It's at the pharmacy (one of the cheaper health plan mail order ones, hope you don't need that script right away or anything). And it's in process. But it hasn't shipped yet.

Then I had a panic attack that Iggy's passport has expired.

Then I became convinced that the three boxes I shipped to the boat early did not have return address labels on them and that they would not get to the boat at all because of that and they'd be lost forever because um, hello? no return address labels! As if UPS couldn't figure out who the heck paid that kind of money to ship benedryl and underwear. Not like a credit card has any information attached to it.

So here's why I'm worried (and I do mean in addition to these panics). The thing is that if this is what is going on in my head right now what the hell is going to happen to me when I actually go to sleep. It boggles the mind!

I used to worry more about normalcy and where I fit in on the scale of normal. Now I only worry about how my waking worries will translate into dreaming fears. So does that mean that I am sane? I seriously doubt it.

A Fair(y) Use Tale

Copyright primer, in case you worried that I quoted Stan from South Park in a way that is violating. Hey, I can't resist those "teachable moments." If I do I'll miss all my moments and not be able to get any back.