Welcome to the Malarone Zone

One of the medications we need to have on this trip is called Malarone. It is a Malaria preventative and you take it once a day for the whole trip. Our doctor prescribed it for us in May and we sent it off the the mail order pharmacy like the good little health plan members that we are.

And that's where the fun began!

So the first thing that happened was that they did nothing for 9 days. Then they decided they needed authorization from our doctor. Um, hello?! He wrote the prescription. He authorizes the medication. No instead there's a form he has to fill out and then they take 72 hours to approve it.

Let's do some math. Today is 6/5/07. We leave for DC on 6/11/07. 72 hours from now is Friday 6/8. Saturday is 6/9 and Sunday is 6/10. So the likelihood of getting this medication is.... very very small indeed.

I spent no less than 2 hours on the phone yesterday on this particular debacle. Here were my points:

• the doctor prescribed it, i.e. he approves, i.e. give me the medication
• my son is going on the same trip, his has been approved already, why not simply do ours too, you know it's ok.
• Malaria is a deadly disease, the cost of curing it is extraordinary, the medication prevents it, i.e., you should give us the medication

Finally it became clear that there was nothing they were going to do for us. The hoop must be jumped through, not over, around, next to, or under. So the woman whom I was speaking to (or holding for which is more accurate) asked me what else she could do for me.

And now came my revenge.

I asked her to explain the logic behind this policy. I swear to God I could hear her sitting there blinking. Well, she replied, it's part of the plan you chose (now this is laughable in itself as it is not the plan I chose so much as the plan I was given or even the plan I received, but certainly not chose). I told her that I understood it was part of the plan but I wanted to know how this part of the plan was logical. She said that some medications can be used for multiple things. I said I knew that, and that this medication was for preventing Malaria. And that my plan was to prevent Malaria! Truly diabolical I know. Eventually I let her off the hook, by saying, "There really isn't any logic here, is there?" I'm pretty sure I felt her breath of relief through my cell phone.

So the status? No Malarone yet. Malarone, maybe? We'll see.