Things you don't think about

We've been without satellite for a few days now. So I wrote this on Wednesday and had meant to post it then. But we only got back today. So will update more tomorrow hopefully.
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Yesterday I shaved my legs. Why am I telling you this, you wonder? TMI in the extreme, right? Well not exactly. See the thing is, that we’re still at sea on our way to Acapulco.

I guess I could have waited until Acapulco tomorrow, but the thing is that this ship is crawling with svelte, toned, undergrads in bikinis. So really I felt obliged to do the minimum, which is to shave my legs.

This boat moves. A lot. All the time. So imagine, if you will a bathroom. Lovely, well appointed, marble and chrome. But something is not quite right about it all. There is a bathtub, but it’s bizarrely narrow, so narrow that your feet can’t be hip distance apart so you feel (if you are of my girth) like you’re kind of squinched into it. Add to that feeling of close quarters, a hand held shower head, which is not quite high enough nor angled properly so it showers essentially straight down, rather than out and down.

And this, my friends, is the setting for the great maiden leg shave.

So picture in your minds legs covered in shaving cream, a fresh razor (danger Will Robinson!) and a moving target. And this is what we’re dealing with. I found the successful way to do this was to hold onto the towel bar with one hand and then sort of squat down and swipe at my leg. Then I waited for the opposite roll of the ship and did it again. Slowly but surely I finished my first leg. Then came the dilemma. To knee or not to knee, that was the question. If I shaved my knees, he chances of this becoming a blood bath were strong. If I didn’t, do my knees, I’d be copping out. I decided not to do the knees. Leg number two proceeded similarly, although somewhat faster than leg one. The thing is that not all the rolls are predictable, even though the sea is very, very calm right now. So as I was finishing my second leg, the ship rolled forward as well as to the side and I managed to drop the razor, lose the blade and also twist my ankle, thankfully not badly.

And thus ended my great leg shaving saga!

On a completely different note, I can’t wait to get into Acapulco tomorrow to get real water and real food. I am so tired of the food already, I want to skip every meal. Unfortunately, I am hungry all the time, because we’re constantly up and down the stairs, all over the ship, fore and aft, etc. Add to this that the ship produces all our water (it has a desalination plant onboard), and it tastes like ass. I am looking forward to the change tomorrow.